Luke 10:38-42 [ESV]
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village.
And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the
Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching.
40 But Martha was distracted with much serving.
And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care
that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.”
41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are
anxious and troubled about many things,
42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion,
which will not be taken away from her.”
“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled”
When I read these words, not for the first time, in September of 2020, the world was in the midst of a troubling pandemic. I was dealing with overwhelming postpartum depression and anxiety and fear and just about every emotion you can fathom.
God, please help her stop crying in my ear. Please help me not lose my sanity over my son just being a kid. Please! Why won’t they nap at the same time, so I can have a few moments to breathe? I just want a clean house. I just want my kids to obey. I need more help. I want to give up. I don’t think I can go on. Just let me die.
These thoughts accompanied hopeless feelings and raging hormones. But I couldn’t go to the doctor because I wasn’t allowed to bring my kids. And I didn’t have anyone to watch my kids because we’d moved away from everyone right before the first shutdown, and Jason wasn’t allowed any days off with his new job. And his managers could never guarantee that he’d get off in time.
I felt alone. I felt helpless. Truly, it was one of the lowest points of my life.
If I conducted a survey, you might all indicate you felt or still feel the same way, while your exact circumstances may have been different.
For many, 2020 was anticipated with excitement and great expectations. I mean, the last time the world was in its “20s” it was dubbed as “roaring,” and I think everyone banked on a repeat of the good times.
But before any of us could act on our big plans for that year…well, you know what happened. I don’t need to speak any more of it here, except to say, it was a hard year, and it hasn’t necessarily gotten any easier. Especially in the last couple of days with news of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, and the continued atrocities happening there.
“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled.”
Boy, was I ever. Gulp! Are you talking to me, Lord?
My whole self ached with despair, and these words brought life. I felt as if they were directed at me. “Emyly, Emyly, you are anxious and troubled about many things.”
I believe Jesus said these words to Martha with great care and gentleness. He loved Martha (John 11:5). In fact, Martha, Mary, and Lazarus are a few of the specifically called out individuals in scripture as being someone Jesus loved–and while I can’t say for certain that’s important, it seems meaningful enough to mention.
I believe Jesus is acknowledging Martha’s troubled spirit, and then, like he so often does, gently reminds her of the truth. It is what I felt him doing with me.
He saw my troubled soul. He saw my weariness. He saw my loneliness. He saw that many things were stacked against me.
I wonder, too, if Martha was even upset with the fact that Mary wasn’t helping her, or if it was one of the “many things” that were troubling her, and she was taking it out on Mary. Regardless, her priorities were disorganized.
We know she got too caught up in doing “good things” that she missed the very best thing–Jesus himself.
I identify with Martha, but I desperately want to be Mary.
But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part
At first my reaction was, “are you just going to gloss over Martha’s anxieties and troubles? Yes, yes! Your teaching is more important than working, but are you not also going to address the other issues?”
On one hand, I had found immense comfort in knowing that Jesus saw my anxious and troubled state, but I was troubled that he wasn’t also giving me the cure to what ailed me.
But the answer was there the whole time, and it hit me with a thousand pounds of relief.
“Emyly, just sit with me. Sit at my feet. I will shelter you. I will pick you up. I will sustain you. I will carry your burdens. Cling to my word. This is the only needful thing. Choose the good portion, as Mary did, and just sit with me.”
These words weren’t audible. They were just truths that washed over me.
I desperately wanted a friend. I desperately wanted to let someone else carry the heavy load I’d been weighed down with. And Jesus was offering those very things to me. And he offers them to you, too.
So often we are like Martha, “distracted with much serving,” and we don’t think the Lord cares about how much we have to do, or how big our burdens are. And like Martha, we pray that God would convict other people to join us in our crusades, the martyrs that we are.
And yet, He’s calling out to us. Telling us we are missing the one needful thing. We are so busy with our “good things,” we are missing Him. The One who satisfies our soul.
I don’t know what’s troubling you today, or what will trouble you tomorrow. But I know that what sustains me today and all my tomorrows, will do the same for you.
For me to have my troubled soul quieted, I must “be still” and just sit with Jesus.
*I want to add that in February or March of 2021–I can’t remember which, I ended up going on medication for my depression and anxiety, because I was not okay. We live in a fallen, sin-filled world, and our bodies are susceptible to illness of all kinds, including chemical and hormone imbalances. Please do not be afraid to seek medical help if you feel you need it. Christ is sufficient. He will sustain us, and sometimes He uses modern medicine to do that.
Olive & Moor 